Personal Log

It never rains but it pours

So much has happened in the last 24 hours never mind the last 7 days I just don’t know where to start.

Nearly three weeks ago the doctor advised me to cut down and then stop taking my antidepressant tablets so that I could start a new type of antidepressant. I finished taking that medication on Friday and had 3 days of not having any medication, just to make sure that the old stuff was out of my system before beginning the new. I was booked into see the doctor after work on Monday and I thought I’d see how I went at work and then see him, especially has his office is just down the road from mine. I can’t explain why but I was so angry that morning. At everything and nothing. I was so angry that I actually had tears in my eyes. As you may remember our office is due to close and I (along with others) am being made redundant so the office isn’t a nice place to be when your feeling 100%. My doctor agreed that it’s not right to be that angry and advised me to start taking the new medication and see him again in two weeks time. He also has signed me off work for a month to let the new medication settle. Glen is worried about me, about money and the house and how much longer I will have a job for so he’s been a bit on edge. That added to the mood I’d had lead to some argument. It wasn’t all bad, my mood had a sudden and drastic change and I spent the next hour laughing. Then we had another argument, things were said in the heat of the moment and I threw my engagement ring at him.

Tuesday morning came and Glen let me sleep and just left for work. He knew that the night before would have tired me out and he thought I was still very mad at him, he told me that in my sleep I punched him twice! I spent the morning tidying and sorting our bedroom, it always makes me feel a bit better. I wasn’t angry anymore, a bit upset but I hadn’t spoken to Glen since the night before and didn’t know how he felt about it all. He called me on his lunch brake and we talked it through and apologised to each other. So I spent the rest of the day digging through our sofa to find my ring. Our sofa is an old one piece thing so there were no cushions that I could take off and make the searchsurch easier. I hade to put my hand down the inside of the sofa and have a good feel around, even with marigolds on it hurt my hands and I have some bruises from it. I even tipped the sofa over so I could get to the bottom of it. I have a look in the space in the bottom of the sofa I had to cut holes in it! It was a sofa that we got from a charity shop when we moved in and was in need of replacing anyway, not that cutting holes in the bottom has made any difference to it’s sitability. I even emptied the hoover out on the floor twice to make sure I hadn;t hovered it up, I didn’t know that Glen couldn;t find the ring until after the lunch time phone call. After all that still no ring. The next morning I said to Glen thrat I thought he did have it and was jusdt hidfing it from me. He went to work saying that he didn’t. A few hours later I got a text telling me where it was. He was going to re-propose and do it with flowers. Not that the original proposal wasn;t nice and very well planef out by him. The offer on our house was accepted in September of 2013, knowing that after we had the house money would be tight he bought my ring that October. We moved in in November of that year and he proposed in July of 2014. The only people he told were his parents, they kept hold of the ring so I wouldn’t discover it in the move. And my best friend and her husband. They had gotten married in the summer of 2013 so he spoke to C (my friends now husband) to find out he got the right ring size for K (my friend),  I’ve know K for 14 years now so he wanted to get her opion on a few things. He didn’t tell my dad until the day before he was due to preose, knowing that my parents might struggle to keep the secret for that long. Apparently he said to my dad that he wasn’t asking for his permission, s he was going to ask me no matter what, he just wanted his blessing. My dad gave it to him. They were out in the garage and I was in the house with mum, dad didn;t even trust himself not to tell and was in and out the house very quickly. He said that he managed not to say anything to mum until they were safely in the car, he only just managed to wait for her to close her door first. The next day we drive to Cheddar Gorge for a preplanned long weekend away. Glen and I love it there and it’s when we first met properly, we had met before but the timing wasn;t right, we had gone there for the weekend with some other friends and things just matured from there. We went into the caves on that trip and that’s were he did it. Down on one knee on the damp cave floor, he had even been planning on which part of the cave to do it in. I didn;t say yes, I just put the ring on and here we are. It was perfect. I am touched that he was going to repropose and had started to plan that too but I am a little glad that that plan was foiled, I like our proposal story the way it is.

So that brings us ti Wednesday morning. The reason that Glen suddenly change his mind and told me were the ring was was because something had happened on his way to work that made him want me to know how much he loves me. He didn’t make it into work on Wednesday morning, his dad was taken ill and blue lighted to hospital. He had a lot of bad symptoms but many of them were A typical ofastroke. By lunch time they had done some tests and ruled out a stroke and a heart attack, they still don’t know whats wrong with him. They have given him fluids and anti biotics and he has perked up a bit. One of the tests they did was a lumbarpuntucre, hopefully they will have the results back tomorrow. At the moment they suspect viral meningitis but until those results are back they are just doing the best that they can for him. Earlier on in the year Glens mum had to have some emergency surgery on her stomach and was left with a tempery stoma or colostomy bag and she was due into hospital today to have it reversed, which just added to the upset and worry of yesterday. Eventually a nurse calmed her down and told her not to make any decisions now, sleep on it and talk to her doctor in the morning.

And that brings us to today. Glens dad is still not good but has perked up a bit over night and they still don’t know what’s wrong. Glens mum did go in for her surgery and is in recovery now. Glen has spent all day at the hospital. As his dad spent most of the day asleep and his mum was in surgery he told me to stay at home and rest. Tomorrow we will both be going in to see his parents. To keep busy and by the phone I have been doing some crochet, I’m making a scarf for a friend for her birthday and I will be seeing her on Saturday to give it to her. But I will give that project a post all to itself once everything has settled down.

Thank you for reading x

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