Fibromyalgia · Personal Log

Life is…

Life is good at the moment.

I have been working at the Doctors Surgery for over 12 weeks now and I’m really enjoying it.  The site I worked at is pretty small so it has been easy to get to know everyone and for everyone to know me.  Everyone has been really helpful and patient with me while I get trained up, although I am told that it’s the kind of job where you never stop learning; I have also been told that they are impressed with how quickly I have learnt every thing so far.  Mots of the patients are very pleasant, some not so but you get that everywhere.  The are so grateful when you can get them into see a doctor, others are just grateful when you can tell them when their appointment is wen they have forgotten when it was.  Nearly all come in with a smile washing us good morning or afternoon.  Some even make a point of stopping to say “thank you” or “goodbye”.  And on the very odd occasion patients bring in cakes and treats to show how happy and pleased they are with the practice.

I didn’t think that I’d like the face to face aspect f this job but it has quickly become my favourite part of it.  I get a few more phone calls than I did in my old job but the calls are nicer and a lot easier to cope with.  I was also worried about the early start, I used to work 10 till 3 and now I work 8 till 1, but so far it hasn’t been a problem.  I know walk to and from work.  It’s a pleasant walk that starts and ends in a public playing field, on they way home I like to take my shoes off and walk through it (one of the best feelings in the world and a very good way for getting toxins out of the body).  Finishing that little bit earlier in the afternoon has meant that I have time to do more things.  So I feel that I have a much better work/life balance now.

Since starting my new job I have lots some weight without even trying.  I don’t have time in the morning to stuff my face before work and eating at work I very difficult, so no more boredom eating for me.  Before I would walk to work and get a lift or the bus home but (at the moment) I am walking to and from work.

To top it all off the wedding is just around the corner and the plans for it are all under control.  So it would seem that everything is coming up roses for me.  And this is where things aren’t so hunky dory in every aspect of my life.  I have let everything become all about me and left Glen to one side to fend for himself.  And if I’m really honest I’ve been ignoring my health.

Glen has always looked after people, his parents, his friends and me.  Since I got sick he has had to take care of me more and I have had to learn to let someone take care of me.  Now that dynamic has been set up it’s hard to change it and it’s taken me a while to see how much I was taking him for granted.  The FM is also putting strain on our relationship (don’t worry the wedding is still on) my ‘bed time’ is around 8pm, well I start getting ready for bed around then and am asleep not long after 9.  Tuesdays and Thursdays Glen goes to the gym after work and doesn’t get home till around 9, so we don’t see each other on those days.  Mondays and Wednesdays he doesn’t get in till around 6 and after having dinner that doesn’t leave us much us time, and as of this Wednesday I start working afternoons so I won’t be home till around 7.  And on Fridays I am just so tired from the week I might as well be asleep.  We do try and do things on a Saturday but we have to be careful with pacing me, and it often means that come Saturday evening I’m wiped out and spend most of Sunday in bed.  This all means that the only activity that I do in bed at the moment is sleep, needless to say that Glen is feeling neglected and thinks that I no longer find him attractive.  I do still find him attractive but it’s very difficult to feel in the mood when you’re in pain and/or shattered.  It’s not his fault, he can’t control it any more than I can control being in pain.

This post has taken weeks to write and I don’t think I have got everything that I need to say.  When I started this blog it was to help me cope with the big change in my life and get things off of my chest.  Lately I have been ignoring the real things that have been going on, it has stopped being about me and has just become about the things that I have made.  At home a lot of things are all about me and that needs to change, that will also mean a few changes here.  That’s not to say that I won’t be writing about the things I make, I just been to work on some balance.

Thank you for reading and sticking with me x

 

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